cRoNe (a work in regress)

TWEETS from my new love story Vlad Tepes (of impalement fame) and Elizabeth (Lizzie) Bathory (of blood bath fame) defend their homeland against their ex-munchies the blood filled, mean spirited Giborunes...

“The figure hanging upside down at the top of the great hall had ‘f’n had it’ with the corpulent little blood dumplings!”

“Because it was not politically correct to raise people, no matter how repulsive they were, for food anymore.”

“..punch them down upon the pikes like a coconut & direct some of the blood into a smaller trestle toward the dining room in the grand hall”

“Raised in tiny little cages for 8 centuries until A. Hitler, a f’n vegetarian, called my Giborune farms “inhumane! The lightweight!”

“I am the Countess. My name is pronounced Bat -tory.”
“Bat-tory? Well then, is there a Master of the castle? A Master Bat-tory (snicker snicker)”

“Shooting flames from her crotch Lizzie used to BBQ Burghers for “cook outs,” while flipping the Tutonics with her bare feet.”

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